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Sunday, August 25, 2013

The shameful hair

Every now and then I get to read a post or article about body hair, especially pubic hair. I find the topic interesting because I've had to think about it a lot when being with Husband. The party starter was my hairiness. Because my long hair does come with company.

I'm rather blonde but I do have a lot of hair everywhere. I've seen girls who've got a lot more though so I'm no exception. And ladies' duty nowadays is to shave it all off. And we do - I've heard someone say "I didn't know girls have hair down there." The funny thing I find is that this take-it-all-off trend doesn't seem to apply to guys at all.

I've been in situations when guys discuss how sexy they think it is when girls wax off their pubic hair. And how unsexy it is if they don't. If the guys are then told that in that case the same thing applies to them the whole gang goes like "dudes shaving – totally gay!! Body hair is masculine and sexy". They usually shut up if they're told that it's actually us girls who decide whether body or pubic hair is sexy on guys or not. Even Husband told me I looked like a beaver when I had a pause with waxing (reason being my sking couldn't take it at that moment). That's when I handed Husband a razor blade and  told him to tidy up big time down there. He's also complained about my "mustach". It disturbs him when we kiss, he says. So I wax it off too. He barely bothers to shave his chin.

I've been shaving/waxing down there for more than 10 years already. I like how my skin feels, I'm quite hairy so I get huge bikini line issues if I let it grow and guys like it as well. When I'm shaved I get, how to put it, better service. I like to leave a stripe of hair in the middle though because I don't want my parts to look similar with my 2-year old daughter's. I think the same thing about guys: I appreciateit  if the guy has put some effort on grooming (the tree also looks bigger without long grass growing under it but I seriously think it looks a bit funny if a grown-up, often also otherwise hairy guy has shaved it all off. But guys, do trim! At least I appreciate it.

Having said that I can add as well that it's truly not a big deal for me if my man groomes or not. The big deal is that if I'm expected to do that the guy should be willing to do it as well. I used to think that guys don't have to groom to be attractive. That's because my previous boyfriends told me that I'm beautiful no matter how I treat my body hair. Husband has let me know that my body hair disturbs him and makes me unattractive in his eyes. So I shave and expect the same from him.

I'm eight months pregnant now so I haven't seen my crotch for a couple of months. Hence I've been unable to shave or wax. Husband still made a comment about my "beaver" some time ago. So I booked a time for waxing.


  1. Husband seems to be a bit of an asshole.

    1. At least he's made perfectly clear that he doesn't accept me as I am. Long hair is a must though, Husband freaks out if I even joke about cutting it.

    2. So why do you put up with him?

    3. Good question, I've asked myself that a lot as well and I've written about it too (the post was called "Why stay?"). Some of the reasons for not leaving him (yet) are cliches: we do have good moments as well, I'm thinking about the kids and I'll deliver a baby in couple of weeks. I've also been at home with the kids which has made me dependent on him financially. I'm also scared: I don't know how I could take care of the kids by myself if I have to go to work every day.

      I dream about a different life. I really don't know what will happen when I'll start working again.

  2. Hei. Minä kirjoitin aikaisemmin sinne narsismipostauksen alle ja odotin silloin toista lastamme. Nyt lapsi on täyttänyt 5 kuukautta ja reilu kuukausi sitten muutin pois yhteisestä kodistamme ja aloitamme huoltajuustaistelut toivottavasti mahdollisimman pian oikeusteitse. Mieheni on narsisti, ei narsismiin taipuvainen kuten aikaisemmin luulin, se on tämän prosessin aikana käynyt selväksi. Minäkin unelmoin erilaisesta elämästä, omasta hapesta jota hengittää. Ja nyt minulla on sitä. Vaikeaa tämä on, uskomattoman vaikeaa hetkittäin, mutta sitten tulee niitä päiviä, kun saamme lasten kanssa tehdä mitä huvittaa ja vain nautimme olostamme. Töihin minun ei onneksi tarvitse mennä vielä aikoihin, joten voin yrittää elää niin normaalia arkea kuin se tässä tilanteessa on mahdollista ja tukea lapsia vaikeassa tilanteessa. Ja uskomatonta kyllä, apua saa, kun sitä uskaltaa pyytää ja ennen kaikkea ottaa vastaan. Voimia vauva-arkeen, toivottavasti saat tukea siihen mieheltäsi, edes hieman =)


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