Google+ Bree Bronson's Babies: April 2013

Friday, April 26, 2013

What is he?

This same scene has been repeated in our house dozens of times. Husband comes home from work and starts to bitch and nag about everything without any specific reason. He literally asks for trouble. I can see that he's tired, hungry and probably had a terrible day at work. He explodes though if I ask him anything about it. The situation gets astronomically worse if I happen to be tired enough myself to mention anything about it. Then I'm likely to get a response such as (a real-life quote): "How can you say you're tired, you're at home all day and get to do whatever you want?!".

Most times I'm too tired or fed up to argue anything in these situations. And by now I'm also experienced enough to realize that I'm not winning anything if I'll join the fight. From Husband's side there will never be an apology, an explanation or an attempt to make up for anything. He will always consider himself a victim, no matter what, and make me apologize for what I've said or done during the fight. What I've found most useful is that I'll just ignore him completely. I'll lock myself in the bathroom or give him the rudest answers: "You're gonna kill yourself? OK, just keep in mind while doing it that me and the kids will get no insurance money whatsoever because the insurance doesn't cover suicide.". Extremely blunt, I know, but I can expect equally little sympathy from him if I'm feeling low. And I think that he, as an adult guy, should realize that by saying "man, I had a crappy day at work" he would trigger much more understanding response from me as well.

Taking all this into consideration my question is this: what is this guy? Would it be fair to label him as a narcissist? The word has been circulating in my mind from time to time. Or is he just a big crybaby? A jackass? What should I call him? It would be somehow easier to handle him if I could put a label on his behavior.

I'm partly wondering because I've came to notice one thing: my blog isn't mostly about being a mom. It's about my relationship to Husband and dealing with this kind of guy. When I started blogging a bit over 100 posts ago I decided to write about whatever I feel like. Well, check the tag cloud. I should probably edit my description text.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

If you ever watch TV: House of Cards

Although I love movies, I'm not good at watching TV. I find most of the programs wasting my time or they're just completely out of my interest area. So when I heard about House of Cards, a rare occasion occurred: I felt that I must see this.

Ever since The Usual Suspects I've been a huge fan of Kevin Spacey. Not that he would be a pretty face to look at, for that I watch Keanu Reeves (he's probably the hottest guy on earth). Kevin Spacey is just a marvellous actor and I've liked everything I've seen him in. So a series he's starring just sounded too good to be true. And the fact that Netflix grabbed House of Cards in front the noses of HBO and similar players just made it more interesting to me. Luckily Husband is nerdy enough to have made sure we're good what comes to any entertainment services.

Kevin Spacey didn't let me down this time either. The series is just fantastic and I'm hooked for good. When the kids are napping I put on an episode and for fourty minutes I can escape my lonesome reality and pretend I have as much character as Kevin Spacey and that I'm equally classy to Robin Wright.

I'm almost done with season one so please Netflix, publish more episodes soon. I need a place to escape and I can't even drink right now. This is an emergency, please!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Handy Housewife is buying tickets

I've been quite tired and jetlagged this week after our trip to Hongkong. As I've been stuggling through the daily tasks I've felt that my head is a complete mess: I don't remember anything, I keep forgetting everything and I can't handle even the simplest things. If someone talks to me my responses are so stupid that I'm ashamed of them even myself. Then it struck me: this is the head I've been carrying between my shoulders for six months both times when I've had a baby.

Some incidents I still remember like yesterday. When Son was just a couple of weeks old we decided to take a little trip to a nearby zoo and took our pram to a ferry. I had checked that kids under seven years old didn't have to pay. So when a young lad came to us to sell the tickets I told him we'd like to have two adults' tickets. Then I pointed at the pram and said: "He's under seven years old." The guy's face was worth several millions of dollars and after a while he said: "Well - I would be surprised if you had a schoolkid hidden in there."

Jeez. I can't wait what a comedienne I'll become when this baby is born. Hooray.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

One seal coming up!

We finally told our relatives that we have a third kid on the way. I've wanted to postpone spreading the news although my belly is already quite obvious. There are couple of reasons. I haven't told my boss yet. We don't know yet if we have a daycare place for Daughter. And then there's Mother. She's developed a tendency to worry about...well, everything. Especially receiving baby news has been her specialty. This is how she first reacted when she found out about my two previous pregnancies:

When I was expecting Son

"So how many kids are you going to have exactly?!?"

(We were planning none mom, although we want this one very much. I was on the pill when I became pregnant.)

When I was expecting Daughter

"Was this one an accident as well???"

(No, and, what the fuck mom?!)

So when normal people go like "congrats", Mother is much more creative in her output. Frankly, I didn't want to face her first reaction. Nor did I want to answer all the following worried but so unnecessary questions. Along the lines with this: couple of months ago she told me with a shaky voice how happy she was that I wasn't pregnant then. Why? Because the hospital where Son and Daughter were born is being renovated. I'll tell her to start scrubbing the sauna clean now - that's where gandmother was born as well.

So this time I was sneaky with the news. Mother and Father are on vacation and I just sent them an MMS message with an ultrasound picture. Just to give Mother some time to think what to say. When my phone rang she said - voila - congratulations! First then she started to worry that we only have two kids' rooms in our house.

The first ones to be informed were the kids. We showed them the ultrasound pic and asked what they think was in it. Daughter said "snow". Son guessed a seal. Then they returned to their Legos and ignored my baby-in-mom's-belly explanation. I think we need to have another chat about this.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Why stay?

I was commenting an another blog and mentioned this. An anonymous reader then started wondering why have any more kids with Husband since he was acting like a jerk with the first one. And why stay in the relationship in the first place?

Well. Ending a relationship has never been easy for me. I want to be sure before I act because when I do, there will be no going back. And now it's not all about me or Husband, the kids do love their dad and would suffer from an eventual divorce no matter how we would arrange our lives. So I really have to be sure. One of these days I may be.

Another thing is that I didn't win Husband in a lottery or pick him randomly. I did fall in love with him. We do have things in common. And we did want siblings to Son, both of us. And, although I don't mention them much in here, there are good things about Husband as well:


He likes it, I like it very much. Some guys lose their interest in sex at some point in the relationship, but with Husband I haven't had to call 911 about this. He's also good in bed if he wants to, unlike many other guys.

Whatever technical stuff

If it uses electricity, Husband is good at it. And likes to play with it as well. I'm not the one who sets up the home theatre system in our house and I'll never have to touch it.

Quirky girl is ok

I'm quite unlike many other girls. I'm not sweet and smiling and I'll definitely talk back to anyone who's being a jackass. Husband doesn't mind as long as I talk back to someone else. Most guys are afraid of me or think that I "have a problem".

I don't laugh alone

Our senses of humor go together quite well. I don't have to explain more.

See you

He will take me to Hongkong next week. I'm astonished because he has to pay for both of us as I don't have money. And I even got to pick the destination his time - which has never happened before.

When I think about our problems I come up with several possible issues that may bug Husband at the end of the day:

- He has been single too long. It's visible from miles away that he can only think of himself.

- He can't adapt to our life as a family. I had to give up everything for kids. I adapted somehow. Husband is complaining since he has so little time to ride his motorbike or sports car.

- I have changed and Husband doesn't like the new Bree. I sure have changed and so has he.

But I really don't know what I could do about that.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Einstein was here

There are finally some signs of spring. It's about time. To me, spring usually is a huge relief: no more snow or biting coldness, we're getting more light and spending time outdoors becomes an option again.

This year wasn't an exception. The weather has become bearable, the Easter break offered a few days of relaxation (even Husband was at home!), a visit to the doctor's put an end to the total strike in my system so that I don't need to spend hours in the loo anymore (thank you pregnancy fairy, this was about the only symptom I haven't suffered from so far) and, most of all, running has become fun again, not just survival. I switched to normal running shoes and took an 8 kilometer run. It felt good.

Then I got an e-mail that promoted Helsinki City Run. Only a few days, then the sign-up period will be over! I laughed at the thought first: a pregnant woman running a half-marathon. Give me a break. Then, after I had taken my 8 kilometer run, Husband suggested Helsinki City Run to me as well. I don't think he was serious. But I couldn't let the thought go. Why not? The doctor said I can run as long as it feels good. And it does. So I signed up. There are no refunds.

Guess who's having second thoughts? I don't even know exactly why but I feel ridicously stupid right now. But we'll see. I'll try to adopt a thought that I'll just take it very easy. I can walk if I get too tired. And so on.

A pregnant woman running a half-marathon. I'm an idiot!