Google+ Bree Bronson's Babies: Happier new year

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Happier new year

Photo: santarosaredwhiteandboom.com

After shooting some fireworks (which Son had waited for months but was eventually too scared to look at so we had to go inside) and putting the kids to bed on New Year's Eve we sat with Husband and waited for midnight. When the year had changed Husband said he wishes for a more relaxed new year. I was silent for a while, then I replied:

It has to be. It has to be.

The thing is - I don't know if I can take one more year equally crap than the last few have been. For four years I have been taking care of the kids and our home basically alone with my own life on hold. Husband has been working and he's still living for work, not working for a living. I've also been carrying our relationhip on my shoulders: it's been my responsibility that there's peace in the house, I've always been the one who settles all the agreements. But I don't want this, I simply don't.

A bit later that evening Husband made a new year's resolution that he will start exercising again. I couldn't come up with anything good for myself, until now: I won't give up yet, not this year. Every new year I've embraced the same hopes about some time with the family, shared responsibility about our relationship and a smoother everyday life. I don't do that anymore, now I believe that nothing will change. Except, one of these days, our relationship status. But not yet, not this year.

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