Google+ Bree Bronson's Babies: 26 kilograms

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

26 kilograms

Daughter at the age of three hours

When I got pregnant the first time I was sure what kind of expecting mom I'd be: sporty, glowing, active and stylish. And I'd gain 10 kilograms tops. I had always been slim without any greater effort so why expect anything else. When the midwife told me I could gain up to 12 kilograms of weight I was thinking it sounded way too much. Little did I know.

First, when I was about 20 weeks pregnant and had already gained about 10 kilograms, I was horrified and couldn't believe my eyes. ("The scale must be broken.") After 15 kilos I was hugely depressed and felt like my body had betrayed me. After 20 kilos I stopped counting and did my best to forget about the whole thing which I didn't of course. I was swollen, felt horrible, I almost couldn't walk and had contractions, my belly was so huge that bypassers would ask if I was expecting twins and I felt light as a blue whale. No pregancy glow whatsoever. Everything was ok per se, and I felt bad about being so weak and sick when I should have been going to maternity yoga instead. I was on sick leave most of the time and felt bad about that too. It didn't make things any easier that my Mom kept telling me how she "felt greater than ever" when she was pregnant. And of course all my friends who were pregnant looked like movie stars. (I actually felt like hitting one of my friends who gained 6 kilos during her pregnancy and left the hospital in her regular jeans.) I'm still wondering today if I'm the only one who had such crap pregnancies that were still classified as perfectly normal.

When our son was born the extra 20 kilos started surprisingly drop quite soon, and after seven months I was my normal self. Long walks with the pram and keeping on eye on my diet basically did it. It was a huge relief since I had been the same size all my adult life. So no wonder I didn't feel at home at all with the extra kilos. When our daughter was born...well, nothing. I was huge, depressed, and my weight wouldn't drop an ounce. 20 kilograms of extra to carry and I was in horrible physical condition as well. I hated my shape and didn't look myself. The thing that really did the trick for me was that there wasn't one piece of clothing in my closet that would have fit me. I was ashamed.

I guess that's when I bought my first pair of running shoes.

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